There You Are.

There You Are.

One of my favorite scenes from Austin Powers was the part when he's walking through a casino greeting people whom he's never met. He looks to one man (or woman, can't remember which) and says,

“Oh there you are...”

They look extremely puzzled and reply,
“Do I know you?”

and in turn he fires back,
“No...but that's where you are, you're there!”

I die laughing every time! Truth be told, I've tried it on a couple occasions to humor myself, and am dying to try it on stage! Aside from the way the slapstick comedy entertains me, those words have resonated with me through the years,

“That's where you are, you're there.”

Too often, our minds, our hearts, and our thoughts, are not in the same location we physically occupy. I am the first one guilty as charged. However, I truly believe that we can be at our absolute best when: Where we are (on the inside) truly matches up with, where we are (on the outside). This is not only to squeeze the every drop of enjoyment from time spent with our families, friends, or loved ones. This mantra proves doubly true in times when we are shaping our destiny, at work, or at play. One of the highest levels of spiritual enlightenment in the Buddhist belief is to be “fully present”. 

This is a term that seems allusive and somewhat ambiguous. However, it's simplicity is the very core of it's difficulty. Our thoughts, feelings, memories are more fleeting than any element, be it water, odor, fire, or wind. They run away from us and shift with no warning, and before we know it, we are in the presence of the people we love most, staring at our mobile device texting someone miles away. Or we are sitting in our office, in class, at our computers, counting the minutes instead hoping they go slower in hopes we get something that stays with us. Or in my case, we find ourselves in the greatest city in the world, and battle our own sense of false priority, duty and regiment, instead of simply being “there”. I lmomeove being “there”, in that moment, sitting deep into that experience until it's invisible impressions have forever altered myself and the way I view the world. It can be as casual as a seemingly inconsequential conversation started with a stranger, “Excuse me do you know how to get to.....there”.

The morning started with the very reason that brought me to the east coast on that particular day, sharing the story of a young girl who believed she could change the world – Rachel Joy Scott. I spoke to 300 high-school students. The very ones that would shape their community, and our future. Rachel inspired me, inspired them through me, and inspired me through them all over again. The chain reaction continued long before and after I spoke. It was rare for me to have the rest of the day off and not have to be up early the next day. The city whispered to me, while my thoughts of the hotel gym, the bills in my bag, and of people whom I cared for somewhere far away weighed me down. I let 'em go like throwing off a heavy jacket in stifling heat. After a couple calls I was headed towards the city. Hit the nearest train station in Jersey, changed in the parking lot and just before hopping on, saw a young cat posted on the corner outside the barbershop taking a smoke break. That little voice that I don't let pop up often enough because I have “so much to do” shrugged at me and gave me a look like, “What the hell.”

I walked up,“Is this the spot to get lined up right.”

In a low barely audible mumble, he said,

"Yeah, I'll cut your hair, c'mon.”

He threw his cigarette but on the cold concrete and hustled inside out of the New Jersey Autumn.  The outcome is never known, and I'm not talking about the hair cut. Those who profess to know or waste their time trying gauge the infinite possibilities resulting from an action or set of actions are simply the unassuming comedic relief in God's little play. Fast forward 2 minutes inside that shop and you could here all the clippers stop as I just went in hard and flowed till my voice was the only voice filling that spot and the adjacent record store. The fact that nobody stopped me when he asked, “You emcee?? Nahhh....c'mon then.” was good news, the fact that everybody stopped what they were doing and began listening was great news. The fact that skeptic looks changed to head bobs, and mean muggin' stranger turned to smirks and smiles was lights out. 

After we all met all over again for the first time, it was like being at home. Come to find out, they got a barbershop, record store, and recording studio all linked up in the 3 rooms, was amazing. After getting fresh and lined up, my barber / emcee traded beats, songs, rhymes, and basically began making plans to put in work in the future... - “There you are...”

I jumped on the train and hadn't hit my friend Mazi in awhile. This was an old friend and an amazing talent, personality, and emcee in the world of Hip Hop, especially NY. Again, that voice came into play, that said, “What the hell”. We went back and forth and planned to link when I hit the city. I got off at Penn Station and was born all over again. Every time I walk up those stairs out of that tunnel, I become myself and I'm home. 

Met up with my old college roommate who just recently landed a great job working for Grooveshark defining how music is discovered and heard on the internet (get me in there Ry! ; ).  We ate on the step, posted up and was about to meet up an old friend from Spain when I get the text from Mazi,




-“Hey, if you got plans that's cool but I'm at Def Jam working, come through if you want.

I had already walked 15 blocks from 32^nd street to 17^th, and I remember doing about face pretty much instantly and walking in the other direction! Yup, that voice was getting stronger... I told him that and he just laughed. Usually, I'm against it, but I hopped in a cab and rode uptown. Of course my phone was dying and the cab driver even tried charging it for me to no avail. I ended up in a starbucks on 49^th finding a plug and texting Mazi. He came down and took me to one of the Meccas of hip hop. The building was huge with the Universal stamp emblazoned on the entrance and you had to pull out your photo id and show security and be escorted by someone who worked there, and then where a badge to even get in. I went up the escalators to elevators which had all been painted over with giant poster work for the most recent released including: J.LO, Kanye, Jay Z, etc. 

 Finally we made it to the promo section of the building where phones were flying off the hook and mix-tape music was banging through the halls. I caught up with Mazi and we shared a whole lot both professionally, love for hip hop, and as friends. He is in the belly of the beast and I have so much integrity for who is and what he does and how focused he is on his passion and if you want to hear a LEGITIMATE rapper, holler at him. The short end of it, for every one who liked and commented on my check-in and quite literally blew me away with your support, excitement, and genuine feeling that we collectively had checked into Island Def Jam that day. For everyone who has been their for the ride is.... No, I did not get a deal, but what I learned and what will happen from here will be worth far more than that...Bet on that, and that's all I can say without giving too much away ; ) and trust, Def Jam is not going anywhere, but we are... -“There you are”

Maz dropped me off in the Lower East Side where I met 4 college buddies who all “happened” to be in the city and on the East Coast tonight. Wow! One is now attending Columbia for a PHD studying education and curriculum, another is now in the middle of her residency as a doctor in Los Angeles, the third as I mentioned (my college roommate) is working at the helm of a social networking, music sharing, and innovation company and myself, the nomad. We were 2 for 2 in finding places that serve a bit of Lower East Side pretentiousness along with an appetizer, glass of wine, or a beer. They do this for free it doesn't cost extra. It's all part of the package. What's not part of the package is that voice that hears live music and gravitates towards it. Fast forward and I am sitting in, playing percussion for a French-Argentenian folk group. - “There you are”

There were moments when I asked myself, “Is this all the same day.” I said my goodbyes and took a train back to Jersey. When I arrived at my hotel, filled to the brim with a day that had gave, but even more a day where I was given so much, a voice told me to go and check the internet for the results of the “Best of” poll that had taken place in the last month in Orange County. I (thanks to you wonderful people) had been nominated for “Best Hip Hop”. Part of me didn't want to check, part of felt like in some way there was much to be gained from knowing the result, whatever it was. 

I'm sorry to say, I lost. Again, more accurately, we lost. I was sad for them, not so much for me, because for the last 4 weeks, my fans had been voting dilligently to win me a title, that in all honesty they had already given me. I watched people vote, create e-mails, click on the hundreds of annoying categories to somehow vindicate my words, poetry, music. Somewhat ironic, when you think about it, because for them it was already vindicated, and for me the vindication was never needed. -“There you are...”

So many things, planned, un-planned, anti-planned, lol. Some may read this account and say, “It was meant to happen.” Others would say, “It's a sign.” Still others would profess, “It's all a series of scientific cause and effect with rational explanations behind each occurrence.” And yet others would lump it all into a simple, “It was God's work”. To be quite honest, that type of philosophical search for meaning concerns me least. No, I did not get a deal with Def Jam Records. No I did not win “Best” Hip Hop Artist in Orange County. No, I'm not sure where all this is going.

Yes, I am certain it's somewhere very big. Yes, I fell in love with New York all over again, like it was the first time. Yes, I am clearer on my purpose. Yes, I missed “watching” the BET awards and instead was living hip hop in Rahway, gaining the respect of strangers who don't do hip hop, but could not survive without it in their lives. So while I was getting snubbed at home, by a county that was still celebrating and quoting contrived lines like “I roast emcees”... I was home in a city that accepts no imposters. While my fans were disappointed, I was making them proud by doing what I know how to do...- “There you are”